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                             A D V E N T U R E S     o f    t h e

           АлллллллВ  АлллллллллллллллллллллллллллллллллллллллллллллВ
          АлллВ АлллВ                       АллВ
          АллВ   АллВ  АллВ  АллВ  АлллллВ  АллВ  АлллллВ  АллллллВ
         АлллВ   АлллВ АллВ  АллВ АллВ АллВ АллВ АллВ АллВ АллВ АллВ
         АллВ     АллВ АллВ  АллВ АллВ АллВ АллВ АллВ АллВ АллВ АллВ
         АлллллллллллВ  АллВАллВ  АлллллллВ АллВ АлллллллВ АллллллВ
         АллВ     АллВ   АллллВ   АллВ АллВ АллВ АллВ АллВ АллВ АллВ
         АллВ     АллВ    АллВ    АллВ АллВ АллВ АллВ АллВ АллВ АллВ

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This tale is told and conceived by Mimu. All similarities to any persons in
Real Life are either accidental or intended. All similarities to games by
Origin are also either accidental or intended. Very few animals were harmed
during the writing of Adventures of the Avatar.
  In my story the Avatar is male, so if this offends you, feel free to
replace every occurrence of masculine references to the Avatar with whatever
you feel appropriate.

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Not all that long ago, in a galaxy surprisingly near to us... actually, it is
our galaxy! There is a small, blue planet in one insignificant corner of this
galaxy. Although this world is not connected with the magical ether very
well, the people living there have partially made up for this by developing
their technology to a moderate level - digital watches and the like.
  Let's zoom in on the planet. There's a continent... a suburban
settlement... someone's house... a man with blonde hair, blue eyes and a well
developed frame... a somewhat noticeable battle scar on a huge cheek...
grotesque bacteria milling about... oops! Back up a bit. Right! That's the
Avatar himself, Embodiment of the Virtues, Galactic Traveller and Protector
of the Weak and the Innocent. You should feel proud to have met him.

Quite some time had passed since his latest triumphant homecoming. The Avatar
was reclining on the floor in front of the television. He was busy being
bored to death. The television was presently rolling the ending credits of
some console game.
  The Avatar had in fact just played his only game, Super Borio Universum VI,
through for the millionth time. The gamepad he used had been fixed various
times with various ways, yet it was still functional. Although only maybe
half of all the buttons actually worked on the gamepad, the Avatar could
easily play the game through without jumping a single time so the multiple
layers of tape and glue on the pad's buttons didn't hamper him a bit. Even
so, the game could not offer him the same excitement as real action would
have. How he pined for Britannia!
  "Then again", he said to himself, "then again, I would probably have to
save the whole place once again. Well - I guess it should be pretty routine
by now. But how would Iolo do if we had to do something exerting again..? He
almost collapsed back at the Bee Cave.
  "And then there's Dupre. He gave his own life for me on the Serpent Isle.
I suppose it was the paladin-like thing to do. Heh, good for him I found that
old magic book in the deepest parts of the Lycaeum's library, with the spell
Resurrect From Ashes on it. And luckily Shamino had brought along some of
Dupre's ashes, as memorabilia I guess."
  As the Avatar was reminiscing the events that took place on Serpent Isle,
he didn't notice at all there was a storm brewing outside, nor did he notice
the silent pop and the curl of smoke that arose from his Hyper Tin Dendo 256
that he had bought from his parents at a low price and that had served him
faithfully for eightteen years.
  "... Then I whacked that strangely familiar serpent statue and was
teleported into the Void. The three uber-snakes got together and forgot all
about me - how typical - and the Guardian said something, and that huge red
hand appeared out of nowhere and grabbed me and I didn't even get a chance to
evade it even though my Dexterity was at 30..."
  Outside the sky was darkened by the gloomy clouds. It began to rain, drop
by drop, and the wind picked up. The Avatar stood up from the floor, totally
lost amidst memories.
  "Ah, the hand, the hand, the awful, knowing hand... I remember how it
squeezed me. I could barely breathe in there! And my hit points sure
plummeted way down. Good thing it opened its grip before I was totally
crushed. The Guardian blubbered on sarcastically about pagans and then burst
out in that psychotic laughter. I was so shocked that I lost my footing and
slipped and fell a long way down... and hit water. I never realized how heavy
a suit of plate armor could be until then. Yes... and I heard a distant voice
intone, 'Let There Be Light,' and I was resurrected in the throne room of
Lord British's castle..."
  Lightning struck the young juniper tree next to the Avatar's house, raining
splinters all over the yard. The Avatar had planted the tree a long time ago
in Britannia, and had brought it with him as a souvenir from his latest
escapade. He took no notice of this however as he was pacing back and forth,
living the past again.
  "LB thanked me for ensuring the continuing of life, as we know it, in the
universe. Then Nystul crashed into the throne room and announced
enthusiastically that he had figured out how to make the moongates work
again. After some strong ritual magic committed by Britannia's most powerful
mages, everything was well! I returned home by stepping through a blue
moongate --"
  The Avatar jumped off his work desk, through an imaginary moongate, landed
awkwardly and hit his head lightly on the floor. "What's going on?" he
wondered upon noticing an unusual glow under his couch. He strained to see
the source of the glow while another blast of lightning took out a potential
car thief snooping around the Avatar's car outside.
  Under the unwashed piece of furniture the Avatar saw a black orb shining
with an inner light. "So that's where I put it", he mumbled, trying to reach
the object. If he had glanced out of the window, he could have noticed the
sky being completely devoured by menacing black clouds, and lightning
illuminating it with continuous streaks.
  Storms, as they are, are certainly not uncommon by principle, especially
around where the Avatar lives. However, a trained observer could easily tell
that this storm was really out of the ordinary. Since you are probably not
one, just take my word for it. Lightning danced a haunting dance in the sky,
and the wind was playing the music. Some of the less hardy trees got dragged
along in the rowdy jig while the stouter ones and those gathered together
could resist the temptation. The perilous dance seemed to be centered on the
circle of stones the Avatar had near the back yard of his house.

The Avatar retrieved the Orb of the Moons ingeniously with his phone bill,
which was considerably longer than usual. He had spent a lot of time on the
Internet lately, curious to see if he could find anything about himself. He
was very surprised to find a horde of Dragons who seemed to know more about
him than he knew himself.
  Outside lightning struck the ground in the stone circle three times. Had
anyone been listening closely at the time, they might have heard a silent yet
unmistakably annoyed grunt. Lightning struck one more time. It discharged
right in the middle of the circle, and a red moongate arose silently from the
ground.
  "Usually when this orb shines like this here on Earth, there's a moongate
in the circle of stones... But there's always a storm, and there's no --" he
looked out the window, "-- storm, now..."
  "Maybe it's a sign from distant Britannia! Maybe I can go back there right
now!" he cried out with great rejoice, getting up and smiling loudly.
  He dashed to the front door, remembered he had forgotten to change clothes,
and dashed back to get the legendary attire. After all, appearances do count,
and you can't go to Britannia wearing a T-shirt and jeans. He quickly located
his old apparel from the chaos that was his storage closet. He tore away his
topmost clothes and put on a white cloth shirt and pants made of well worn,
soft leather. He wore an orangish vest with a simple belt, and tugged on his
pair of leather boots. He was about to turn to go as he realized he had
forgotten the most important thing. A red, thick, warm cloak was uncovered
and donned. From one of the inner pockets he pulled out a golden ankh-amulet
and hung it around his neck. After a moment's hesitation he grabbed the
butter knife he had always used in Britannia from a shelf and tied it on his
belt.
  After all this the Avatar dashed again to the front door, remembered he had
forgotten his keys somewhere, and dashed back to look for them. In the
meantime, lightning with vandalistic features remodeled his ancient
automobile.
  The Avatar stepped out of his house and locked the door with a skeleton key
he had found. The key crumbled to dust in his hand after being turned in the
lock. He only took a few running steps at the stone circle before lightning
struck again, reducing his home to rubble.
  He stopped dead and stared at the burning remains, blinking in disbelief.
"Why me", he called out dramatically, face lifted to the skies. The storm
seemed to scowl at him, and the wind was encouraging him toward the magical
stone circle.
  The Avatar didn't have much time to wail because the moongate was already
starting to lose its glow and was wavering and seemed to slowly sink back
into the ground. He lingered near his demolished abode a moment longer, but
he knew he had to decide quickly.
  The cobwebby boredom of Real Life made the decision easy.

Iolo was lying on a bed in Iolo's Hut, whining about his aching foot. His
wife Gwenno had gone to the guild hall in Minoc to finish finetuning Stones,
version 1.48b.
  A swirling wall of red flame ascended from the ground outside Iolo's Hut.
The Avatar fell into vision, seemingly through the fiery portal, and ended up
face down in the moist grass. The moongate sunk away to a more fun place, and
the Avatar remained motionless among the weeds. Once he had established that
the travel was already over he picked himself up and dusted off his clothes.
  The hut looked just like it had when the Avatar had last seen it. Its walls
were made of tough wood, though mold was perhaps a bit more prominent,
probably due to last fall's rains. The Avatar noticed there was no longer
a gaping hole in the roof. Some boards had been nailed on top of it.
  He took in the surroundings and was glad to see the familiar sight of the
Deep Forest. He breathed the fresh air in deeply and sighed contentedly. To
his right he could see a barn, and a horse's head munching on hay was poking
out from the open upper half of the barn door.
  "Greetings! Thou still protectest the world from hay?"
  Smith, who hadn't paid any attention to the Avatar's arrival, only noticed
him now. "Behold the Champion Of The Virtues, coming to save the day and kick
butt", he said to the world in general, under his breath. "He would be
nothing without the help of this trusty sidekick, Smith the Horse, but do I
even get a mention in the credits?"
  "How come Iolo hath not used thee as glue for his weapons yet?" the Avatar
asked playfully.
  "He tried that, all right, but then he shot himself in the foot with the
crossbow he was threatening me with. Har har har --"
  Disgusted with the horse's unsettling cackling, the Avatar went to the door
of the hut and tried opening it, but it was locked. He grunted with mild
surprise.
  "Don't bother", neighed Smith, "it's locked."
  "So I noticed."
  "Yeah, that's what you always say, no matter how helpful I always try to
be. Funny how I don't remember you ever thanking me for any of that. I even
have another clue for you, only I forget what it was... lemme see..."
  The Avatar took advantage of the horse's loss of interest in him and hit
Iolo's door a few times with his knife. The door disappeared into thin air
without a trace.

Iolo had thought he heard someone outside, and the door vanished just as he
was about to shout the newcomer to go away. He was silent and astonished for
exactly two seconds, seeing the Avatar in the doorway, wielding a ridiculous
dull butter knife. Then he recovered and growled indignantly.
  "You owe me three doors already, Avatar! If you don't pay up soon, I may
have to resort to extreme measures", Iolo threatened.
  "Ha! What might such measures be? A poor old loser like thee could do
nothing to me; the Great, the Mighty, the Invincible Avatar", the Avatar
replied with amusement, attempting to look really heroic.
  The aged archer shifted into a more comfortable position and sneered
cunningly. "How's about if I tell Lord British you're not quite as virtuous
as you're trying to lead everyone to believe?"
  "What art thou saying?! I am more virtuous than British himself", the
Avatar gasped, this time genuinely surprised.
  "Remember the time we camped near northern Britain? I, uh, happened to see
you get up in the middle of the night and sneak off somewhere. I suppose it
was just a coincidence that the nearby farmer's fields were robbed empty that
night. The next morning all our party's gold was missing and you had
a backpack full of corn. Wanna hear what I think really happened?"
  They stared at each other, the Avatar looking incredilous. "Art thou
suggesting that I would sneak off in secret, squander all our gold on
gambling, ale and lewd acts with ladies of negotiable affection, even steal
corn to make up a cover story for the missing gold?? 'Tis ridiculous! I can
explain everything, really!"
  "Explain it to British", Iolo smiled nastily.
  "Thou art bluffing", the Avatar said in a barely audible voice.
  A moment passed in oppressive silence. "Look, might I pay for two doors
later, I only have five gold with me now", he sighed, going through his
pockets.
  "Whatever. Hey, that reminds me: British wanted to see you for something.
He asked me to tell you to come to Castle Britannia in case I saw you."
  The Avatar shrugged and commented, "Well, why not. Did not that scallywag
Shamino settle permanently in Britain, with an actress?"
  "Ah, I guess he did, but as for her, she... disappeared, under mysterious
circumstances, a few months after you left."
  "All the better! That meaneth nothing preventeth Shamino from adventuring
with us!"
  "Whaddaya mean us, I'm not going anywhere. My foot's killing me and I'm too
old and tired anyway", Iolo complained unhappily. "You can go play the Hero
of Britannia all by yourself."
  "Hast thou tried any healing spells?"
  "I haven't been able to use magic for a long time. I'd just slow you down.
I can't even get to a healer because of my foot", Iolo snorted, and grimaced
in pain. "They're too expensive anyway."
  The Avatar moved his hands around amusingly and whispered, "Vas Mani". An
azure glow enveloped Iolo's hurt foot. They both watched the glow for
a moment before it dissipated. Iolo tried moving his leg carefully, summoned
a happy look on his face and hopped up standing on his bed.
  "Hey WoWie", he laughed, eyes gleaming, "I Feel Like Adventuring!"

Thus the Avatar and Iolo started walking toward Britain. In the meantime,
Shamino, who was already in Britain because he lived there, was worrying what
had become of brave Sir Dupre. Dupre had left to the Cyclops Cave a few days
earlier, without telling anyone. He had only left a message to the manager of
the Blue Boar inn. When Shamino had gone to eat his breakfast there, he was
handed a piece of paper beside the cereal. It read, in Dupre's familiar crude
handwriting:
                SHAM    I WENT TO CYKLOPES GAVE
                BE BACKE IN FEW DAYS TYME
                                DUPRE
"Although it was rather selfish of him to go there amassing experience
without me, I am rather concerned. It'll soon be a week since he left",
Shamino thought aloud. "If he's got more than two level-ups though, he can
stay there for all that I care."

At the very same time, Dupre was panic-stricken, trying to figure out a means
of escape from the berserk posse of cyclopes surrounding him.
  "What am I going to do!? Maybe I should call for help... but I bet there's
nobody around for miles. Why, oh Why did I come here?"
  Some seconds passed as he recounted the events that had lead to this point.
  "All I wanted was a little XP, is that too much to ask? I guess I'm kind of
dumb, I shouldn't have come alone. Shamino would've come with me if only I
had asked. No, instead I left east from Britain all alone, in the middle of
the night... At dawn I was at Cove where I remembered that the cave was to
the _west_ of Britain in Serpent's Spine. I didn't go back through Britain
since someone might've seen me so I took the long way around, through Minoc.
Yesterday I finally got here and sure had loads of fun running amok in these
caves, and then I took a nap among the carnage... How was I supposed to know
two thirds of them were out hunting when I attacked? HELP!!"

The Avatar and Iolo marched briskly forward on the road leading to Britain,
and they had just reached the fork where the road split to the east and to
the west, the direction of New Skara Brae. Iolo was chattering away.
  "You remember that infernal island hamlet, Skara Brae? They've finally
gotten around to building new houses in that place. Guess who's supervising
the rebuilding process? Our old pal, Horance!"
  The Avatar nodded, smiling, and turned toward the eastern fork of the road.
It did not take him long to notice that Iolo was no longer walking beside
him. He turned to look back. Iolo seemed to be eyeing the mountain range near
them, as he explained, "Hey Avvy, I've gotten a bit out of shape lately. It's
just that I thought we might go for a little trip to the Cyclops Cave. I
reckon you could use some experience too. What do you say?"
  "I?" the Avatar asked. "Need experience?" He looked closely at himself and
utterly failed to see any need for improvement. "Thou jestest. But - as for
thee... Very well. The Cave lieth not too far away, if memory serveth. Shall
we be off then?"
  So Iolo and the Virtuous Guy went off to seek the Cyclops Cave, not knowing
of Dupre's plight.

In Britain, Shamino finally decided to speak to Lord British. "After all,
Dupre is a Knight of the Crown, and LB is a good friend to both of us, I'm
sure he'll help us."
  His carefully formulated plan was cruelly shattered by the royal guards who
wouldn't let him inside the castle. He asked for the reason, but the guards
refused to speak anything further on the matter, repeating stubbornly,
"I don't know about that". Shamino was clueless as to what to do next.

The cyclopes were approaching Dupre from every direction and he couldn't for
the life of him come up with any smart ploy to fool the cyclopes and try
a surprise attack. He thought his last moment had come. As a last straw, he
cried out, "Look behind you, it's the Avatar!!"
  None of the huge creatures looked behind them, and thus did not see the
orange-clad person with the red cloak appearing at the entrance of the cave,
nor the other person dressed in a brown outfit. Instead, they pounced on poor
Dupre, screaming for blood.

Iolo rained bolts all over the cyclopean pile while the Avatar was poking it
with his trusty knife, hoping not to hit anything with more than one eye.
  Finally the mound ceased moving. After a short breather, the Avatar and
Iolo started pushing the heavy corpses off the pile. Some time later they
caught a glimpse of something resembling Dupre underneath.
  Once they had dug out a bloody, bruised, nearly passed out Dupre, he
assured his rescuers he was feeling just fine.
  "What made you come here without any backup assistance, when the Cyclopean
Annual Convention was taking place", Iolo demanded.
  "I just thought I'd get some ecksperiensce", the knight mumbled embarassed.
"Besides, I've never heard of cyclopes having annual conventions."
  Just then, a voice from the back of the cavern commanded them to drop their
weapons or drop dead while dropping their weapons.

The Avatar, Iolo and Dupre turned at the back wall of the cave. There they
saw a young three-eyed cyclops with impressive biceps, wearing a fleece with
gold dust sprinkled all over. He was wielding a previously unheard of Triple
Bow, along with some Terminator Arrows which were pointed at the unlucky
adventurers.
  "If you wish to know why I intend to kill you, you shall do as I tell you!"
the creature snarled. Anger was burning in his eyes.
  "What have we ever done to thee", the Avatar asked as the party's
spokesman, carefully letting his knife fall to the ground. Dupre laid down
his gleaming sword and kept looking at it longingly. Iolo placed his crossbow
on the ground with loving care and whispered to it, "Don't be afraid, I won't
leave you."
  "You just murdered my father, did you not!? And my mother! And my sister!"
screamed the three-eyed being in rage. "My brother! My cousins! My whole
bloody family! And all my friends! I am the last member of my race left! You
shall regret your actions, swines!!"
  The cyclops released his grip on the bow's string, dispatching the arrows
on their merry mission. Now, these arrows might be better described as guided
missiles. They had never been known to fail, although the caused destruction
was often way off the scale, taking out everything within a few miles. If you
really wanted to get rid of something, these were your arrows.
  Each arrow had a small HUD screen with a few words on them. "Tracking
System Engaged", "Target Locked", "Warp 7" and "Nuclear Warhead Armed".

The Avatar was dimly aware of a glittering arrow approaching his unprotected
head. His previous heroic deeds flashed past his eyes. Time seemed to stand
still as the arrow slid at him painfully slowly. He tried to drop down but
his legs wouldn't obey him. There was nothing at all he could do, but wait
for his inevitable doom. Perhaps his time had finally come.
  He closed his eyes, awaiting termination with dread. He didn't pay much
attention to the strangely out-of-place chink his acoustic sensors relayed to
him, nor to the equally odd three snaps, a growl and a gurgle.
  Some moments later he realised he was, against all odds, still alive.
Inspired by a sudden ray of hope, he dared to open his eyes again. The
three-eyed cyclops was lying on the ground in an uncomfortable position, with
a throwing knife embedded in the neck. Also on the ground, a few meters from
the Avatar and his two companions were the arrows, each of them snapped in
two. Shamino was standing at the back door of the cave, panting heavily.

"The guards wouldn't let me ask Lord British for help so I decided to do all
that I could and made for this cave", Shamino explained to the others.
  "How did you get here so quickly?" asked Dupre, still perplexed, "And
where'd that back door appear from?"
  "They don't call me a Britannia Ranger for nothing", Shamino replied,
smiling mysteriously.
  "A fine deed, brave Shamino. 'Twas indeed a timely rescue for which we all
are deeply in thy debt", praised the Avatar.
  "Hey dewds", Iolo said, "I have enough experience for a new level now, so
whaddaya say we go and meditate on Spirituality a bit?"
  The others nodded approvingly, and the Avatar pulled out his Orb of the
Moons, tossing it three meters away at an angle of 240 degrees. A red
moongate sprang from the ground, and the party stepped through it once the
Avatar had picked the Orb back in his pocket.

The absolute sovereign ruler of all Britannia, friend to the Avatar and his
companions, the monarch Lord British, was floating beside the Shrine of
Spirituality. He paid no attention to the moongate that had appeared for
a brief moment nor to the bunch of haggard adventurers it had brought along.
The Avatar couldn't help but wonder what British was doing there. After
a moment he braced himself to speak off-handedly, "Hail and Well Met, my
liege. What brought thee hither?"
  The king turned his restless gaze at the Avatar and growled at him
disturbedly, "Mind your own business!"
  "Pardon?" coughed the Avatar apologetically.
  "What are YOU doing in MY dream? May not the ruler of Britannia even have
a peaceful nap without someone popping in to harass him?"
  Iolo's hands were trembling slightly. Shamino noticed this and leaned to
the Avatar, whispering, "Um, Avatar? I think Iolo is having a tough time
adapting to action after lying idle for so long. I think he's gonna --"
  Without warning, British zoomed at the companions, intending to kick them
out of his dream. For maximum effect, he screamed, "There's No People Like
Dead People!!!!"
  "Fear not my Lord", Iolo burst out suddenly, raising his crossbow, "I shall
protect thee from this wily monster that hath usurped our liege's image!"
  Dupre leaped at Iolo's back, shouting, "NOOO", while Shamino leaped at
Iolo's crossbow-holding arm, shouting, "NOOO", while the Avatar dodged to his
side, barely managing to evade the Death Bolt flung by Lord British,
shouting, "HUH?!" while Iolo let his bolts careen towards British, shouting,
"DIE FIEND DIE MWAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHA!" ...
  LB could not have been more annoyed but there was little he could do as his
ethereal form was blown to tiny bits by a swarm of Thermonuclear Bolts.

Lord British awakened with a jump from a strange nightmare. It took a while
for him to take in his surroundings and realize he was still in his own bed,
in his own castle.
  "Maybe I shouldn't have eaten that last slice."

The Avatar hit the floor of the Shrine as the Death Bolt whizzed past him,
rolling back to his feet skillfully. He could see Shamino and Dupre tackle
Iolo, and the ghost of a monarch degenerate into a particle cloud.
  Behind them all materialized the Time Lord who, having sensed hostile
forces in the Shrine of Spirituality, had popped by to check on the matter.
  The deep purple Death Bolt whizzed happily onwards, the Avatar having
graciously removed himself from its path. "Yeehaa!" it cried ecstatically,
relieved not to have had to deprive a lower life form of its existence. All
of a sudden, a person in a very worn white robe appeared in front of the Bolt
from nowhere. It was not agile enough to evade the poor man, but curiously
the lethal blow did not kill him instantly as it should have.
  The Time Lord did not immediately recognize the Avatar and his companions.
Being understandably incensed, he began casting a powerful spell which would
promptly sweep all life off the Shrine and its surroundings.
  Realizing what the Lord of Time was doing, the Avatar screamed frenziedly,
"WAAAIT!! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! DON'T KIll ME! IF YOU WANNA KILL SOMEONE KILL
LORD BRITISH, HE THREW THAT BOLT!"
  The Time Lord quickly noticed his error, but it was too late to stop the
ultimate spell of Destruction. He acted amazingly quickly and invoked a spell
of teleportation quicker than time, at the very last moment.

Gorn the Barbarian was having a good time, causing havoc in the sewers
beneath Castle Britannia. Recently he had been going back and forth between
a dead end and a cavernous room. A fresh bunch of Headlesses, Trolls and
Cyclopes appeared there mystically every time he turned his back and walked
twenty paces away, and all he had to do was let his sword do the work and
take a few steps now and then.
  As he had been doing this for the last eightteen months as a full-day job,
he was about ready to ascend to Experience Level 12. He cleaved open the
stomach of a Headless for the umpteenth time, bashed in another Troll's head
and bit the leg off of another countless cyclopean victim of his rage. And
wouldn't you know, that about wrapped up another magnificent victory.
  Gorn checked his statuses and noted he had a juicy 102405 points of
experience. He laughed gleefully and tossed his self-made Orb of the Moons
three meters away at an angle of 240 degrees.

An indigo moongate shimmered into existence by the Shrine of Spirituality,
somewhere in the vast Ethereal Void. A tough-looking barbarian stepped out of
it, a two-handed sword on his hip and a horned helmet on his head. A pair of
eyes set in a rugged face darted to his side and froze there. He beheld
a familiar, aged, bearded man holding a crossbow, firing it at a familiar
ethereal being which then exploded, raining triangular particles all over the
shrine floor. Then two more familiar men tackled the first one.
  Gorn was rather confused, after all he had only 15 INT, so he stayed put,
wondering which action would be the most beneficial to take. All this
familiarity was getting to him. Maybe he should just slice everyone into
little pieces and see if they had anything valuable on them; Mithril,
Adamantium, Potions of Experience, maybe even Artifacts... He sure could use
an arkenstone.
  Someone was screaming, "IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! DON'T KILL ME!"
  The undecided barbarian turned to look at the new voice. Finally he could
place at least one face, that of the Avatar. The Champion of Virtues was
apparently communicating with another strangely familiar person dressed in
white, gesturing wildly and a bit amusingly. Gorn was about to call out to
them when a bright flash blinded him without warning. When he regained his
vision, he could no longer see any of the remotely familiar people about.
  About half a second later the Time Lord's Armageddon spell purified one
corner of the immense Void.

A couple of weird (weird, as in having snouts, futuristic sunglasses and
interesting hairdos) tourists from outer space were admiring the sacred
shrine that had once housed the Codex of Ultimate Wisdom. They were arguing
about whether they could make a spaced out janitor of sorts get into a silly
adventure there.
  In the middle of the temple stood a pedestal on which the Codex had rested
in a more peaceful time. The walls and columns of the shrine had since been
stained with graffiti. Some of the more interesting ones read, in runic
writing that no one could understand, "LB SENT ME", "BEWARE THE WAREZ WALRUS"
and "OUT OF TOILET PAPER SO I USED THE BOOK - HOPE U DONT MIND".
  The tourists were flung heavily on their backs as a group of adventurers
and someone who looked like a mage appeared between them accompanied by
an enormous flash and a bitmap explosion sprite.
  "Hey, look out!" one cried indignantly. "If you had targeted a bit off, one
of us would've been telefragged!"
  The mage-looking one snapped his fingers and the tourists disappeared back
to wherever they had come from.
  "Strange", mused the Avatar, "where went they?"
  "Into a galaxy far, far away", the Time Lord smiled impishly.
  "Say what", the Avatar asked unsure.
  "I dunno", replied Shamino shrugging his shoulders.
  "Whazza galaxy", replied Dupre scratching his head.
  "...", replied Iolo, spasming on the floor.
  "Iolo?"
  "..!" Iolo coughed, gradually grinding to a halt.
  "He's dead, Avatar", commented the Time Lord.
  "Well do something, Avatar! Iolo can't die yet", Shamino pleaded earnestly.
He bent down, pressing his ear to Iolo's chest. He got up and fought tears.
"It may be the end of his road, I couldn't hear his heart beating anymore.
And to think the story is only beginning. It must've been that nervous
breakdown and all this excitement... Avatar, do Resurrection or something."
  "Quit thy whining! I am an Avatar, not a healer."
  Dupre couldn't bring his mind about to the fact that their old friend had
deceased, so he just perished even the faintest thought and picked his nose
instead.
  The Time Lord sighed exasperatedly, intoned "In Mani Corp" in a harmonious
voice, dumping a mandrake root on Iolo, along with a piece of red fungus,
a clove of garlic, a handful of spider web and some pocket lint. These
unusual objects sparked into flame, and quickly burned away.
  A miracle had happened, and Iolo was breathing again. After a while he
opened his eyes and upon seeing his friends above him, grunted, "This ain't
Heaven, that's for sure."
  "I'm way too good for this cheap story", the timeless one mumbled.

"Say, thanks, Tym Lem! Hey, I still didn't get that level-up so let's go back
to the Shrine", Iolo stomped around with renewed vigor and unflinching
enthusiasm.
  "Not a chance", stated the Time Lord bluntly. "You would surely die if you
went within 0.69 AU of the Shrine. There's so much radiation there now that
even dreaming of the place may prove harmful."
  "Well, rats. I guess we'll just have to use another Shrine."
  "Hello, Iolo? They've all either crumbled beyond identification or been
wrecked by vandals. Well, all except the Shrine of Humility", Shamino
enlightened him in a tutoring tone.
  The Avatar lost his temper hearing this. "Humility? We shall not as much as
SPIT in its direction! It only raiseth hit points and not a single one of the
truly important attributes! Pray tell, why doth every even remotely useful
Shrine get ruined while such wastes of the space-time continuum as Humility
remain intact? Know you what? We should go yonder right now and do unto it
what should have been done long ago..."
  He blinked and became aware that everyone was staring at him.
  "We should, ah, see whether it still stood unabolished and perhaps engage
in some remodeling as a worthy tribute to a Virtue we all hold dear..."
  To his relief, the others shrugged casually and got back to poking Iolo to
see if he would fall apart.
  "Ahem", the already-forgotten Time Lord tried to attract their attention.
"There is still the Ultimate Shrine. It is located deep in the Underworld,
and it has a bit of a suspicious reputation. Although an immensely powerful
Shrine, it is said to bring about an evil influence on all who use it."
  "The Underworld doesn't even exist anymore! It collapsed with a great
collapse when the Gargoyles had evacuated. A Shrine intact down there? I fart
in your general direction", exclaimed Shamino mockingly. "I mean I should
know if there was anything at all down there - I'm a Britannia Ranger!"
  "You probably got that vacancy by cheating, scheming and bribing just like
the time you --" retorted the Lord calmly until Shamino interrupted him with
a shove.
  "Hey hey hey, Lord Time, Sir, I've lived in Britannia and in Sosaria before
that for over three and a half hundred years, eh!"
  "Sure kid, I've only existed forever. Look, bushwhacker, there's a Shrine
down there that not only raises all your stats by five, but also gives a few
points to half your skills and raises your hit points twice as much as any
other shrine that ever existed!! Not only that, but the Shrine has so much
power you can see everything, be everywhere, do anything and drink a cup of
hot chocolate while you're doing it!"
  Shamino was starting to get flushed. His hand inched closer to the short
sword by his side. The other three companions watched the proceedings with
great interest and just a bit of worry.
  "I know EVERYTHING about the Underwurlde, and it DOESN'T include
an Ultimashrine! THEREFORE, it DOESN'T EXIST!!"
  "Say what you will, junior. The Avatar will believe me no matter what, nyah
nyah!" the Time Lord sneered, keeping his cool. He was not prepared for
a strike so blindingly quick, so staggeringly cruel, so unfathomably deadly,
that Shamino suddenly launched. The first thing he knew was he had a strange
empty feeling in his abdomen. His leer crumbled away as he glanced down on
himself.
  The others were standing horrified next to Shamino, except Iolo who had
tripped and was lying horrified on the floor. They all stared at the
unbelievable sight before them. The ancient master of the chronal arts,
supervisor of the stream of time, had a steel blade buried in the middle,
apparently beaten by a mere mangy mortal.

The Avatar and his companions were wondering what had actually happened. The
last thing they remembered was that the mortally wounded Time Lord had
unexpectedly imploded and vanished into thin air. After that, they had all
fallen into a trance. The Avatar had been the first to recover about five
minutes afterwards, and he kicked the others a bit until they woke too.
  Dupre suggested, "Maybe he died and crumbled to dust?"
  "Nay, it maketh no sense, the Time Lord can not be deprived of life so
easily. Otherwise there would be no point in being one. 'Tis likely he merely
blinked away to regenerate", claimed the Avatar.
  "If he's mad at us now, it's totally Shamino's and his ego's fault", Iolo
said, eyeing the ranger disapprovingly.
  "Shamino! Do thou learn self-control", the Avatar ordered sternly.
  "Yeah yeah", Shamino grumbled, sitting hunched in a corner of the Shrine.
  "But 'twould be fine to find the Supershrine. Contemplate briefly all the
things one might do", the Avatar continued then. "See everything..."
  They all grinned widely at this.
  "Be everywhere, do anything..."
  "Drink a cup of hot chocolate", Iolo added dreamily. A moment's silence
ensued. "We need to know where in the Underworld the Shrine can be found
though", he realized then. "The Time Lord disappeared before he could tell us
which Dungeon we should use, which direction to go, where to go down and so
on. It's just that we'll never find anything if we just wander around
aimlessly, considering the size of that place."
  Suddenly they heard a voice resembling the Time Lord from somewhere. "Maybe
your all-knowing Shamino the Britannia Ranger will tell you, no?"
  "Most exalted Time Lord, please listen", the Avatar called out with
distress. "Oh Lord, reveal to us the way to the Far Superior Shrine!"
  "Not a chance, you silly kniggets! I have been insulted! Were I a Time Lord
of less honor, I would challenge our rude friend Shamino to a duel, but as it
is I never challenge mortals."
  "Had enough eh", Shamino taunted.
  "Don't tempt me", the voice replied with a very stern tone.
  "Look, in that case", the Avatar tried to negotiate desperately, "The rude
Shamino apologizeth to thee, we shall all be friends again, and thou canst
tell us more about the Shrine."
  "No Guardianing Way", Shamino swore heavily.
  "Seek and you will find", the disembodied voice reminded drily. "Hasta la
vista for now, Avatar."
  "I see", the Avatar pondered the recent events feeling let down. "I suppose
there is naught to do but to go and visit our liege. 'Tis where I was headed
in the first place, anyway."
  "So how do we get to Britain from here? The trip takes several days by ship
and we haven't even got a rowboat", Dupre asked.
  Iolo, to whom the answer was evident, waited a minute to see if anyone else
would figure it out. No one did, so he suggested, "The Orb of the Moons?"
  The others were impressed, "Oh yeah, right", "Yeah, that" and "Aye, the Orb
of course... I was about to suggest it, 'twas quite obvious all the time."
  The companions nodded understandingly at the Avatar, who retrieved the Orb
from an inner pocket of his cloak. "Now where do I throw this?"

A talented team of craftsmen were in the process of building a new inn in the
demolished town of Skara Brae. Another team was making room for residential
buildings by tearing down parts of the ridiculously large cemetery, now and
then busting ghosts who wouldn't go away voluntarily. Yet another team was
removing the seemingly useless circle of eight stones, as a red rectangle
arose from the ground in the middle of the circle.
  "Pesky ghosts", one of the workers grunted, preparing a dispelling spell.
  The Avatar and his party fell out of the rectangle, very battleworn. Their
clothes were torn, there were numerous bleeding wounds and the dull blade of
the Avatar's trusty butter knife was bent. There were bite marks on Dupre's
long sword.
  The Avatar quickly pulled himself up and looked around him. Apparently they
had managed to escape. He helped Iolo up and bent down to cast a healing
spell on Dupre's broken arm. His eyes caught sight of the knight's weapon and
he shook his head thoughtfully upon noticing the bite marks on the blade.
  "Oh great", Shamino pointed at the nearby craftsmen. "This sucks."
  All the companions turned at the men, ready to do battle in spite of their
fatigue. The workers were getting panicky.
  "It doesn't work", one of them cried.
  "Try again! Try again!!"
  "We're all gonna get killed!!!"
  "Shut up! You just didn't do it properly, let me try -- AN CORP!"
  "Nothing's happening..."
  The companions were eyeing each other confused.
  "AN CORP! Begone, evil spirits! AN CORP!!"
  "I told you we shouldn't have touched those stones but you wouldn't
listen, no..."
  "Shut up! AN CORP!"
  "Go back, I say! Return to whence you came, foul ethereal beasts!"
  "Please don't kill me, I have seven children and thirteen wives!"
  Iolo finally recognized the surroundings. "It's New Skara Brae! My, how
things have changed already."
  "Everybody, together -- AN CORP! AN CORP!!"
  "Where's Horance", the head construction worker called out. "He can handle
this! Somebody get Horance!"
  The Avatar was getting fed up with the men, making such an awful racket
when was trying to think. "Be quiet, will you! Shut up! SHUT UP!"
  The demoralized workers froze solid, shivering.
  "That is better", the Avatar nodded thankfully.
  A ghost was hurrying at them from the nearly finished inn. "Avatar?"
  The companions readied their weapons again, but lowered them as the Avatar
motioned with his hand. "Hail, honorable Horance!"
  "Hail, hail o Virtuous One... What goeth on here?"
  One of the craftsmen mumbled incoherently something only Horance could hear
and understand. He looked annoyed. "Did I not tell ye to leave those stones
be? What?"
  "You said, clear the land for buildings, you said, just uproot the trees
and carry the rocks to that pile..."
  Horance clicked his ghostly tongue and told the workers to take a break.
"Nonetheless, 'tis good to see thee, friend Avatar. As thou canst see, the
restoration of the towne of Spirituality is well under way. Our top priority,
the inn, is almost finished."
  The companions glanced at the inn and saw some workers putting up the name
sign. "The Final Inn". Below read, in smaller runes, "Spirits Within."
  "But, what brought ye here?"
  "Indeed 'tis good to know this towne shall not always remain desolate, and
with such a coordinator as thou art, 'tshall surely regain its lost glory",
the Avatar spoke politely. "Now, as for us, we are on our way to Castle
Britannia to meet with our liege. Only, I seem to have forgotten where to
cast the Orb of the Moons to reach the castle."
  "You wouldn't happen to remember it? If we just try out every possible
location at random, there's gonna be a lot of trouble", Shamino queried
hopefully, tying a bandage over a gash in his leg. "We barely got away from
the Shrine of Valor and the vandals that were wrecking it. I got three frags
but we were, like, so out-numbered we had no chance of winning."
  "Two meters to the north, I reckon", the ex-mage, ex-liche, ghost advised
after a moment's thinking.
  "Say, thanks! Be seeing thee", said the Avatar, tossing the Orb again.

Lord British was sitting on his royal throne, contemplating the meaning of
his mysterious dream. "Perhaps... could it mean, the Avatar will sneak into
my castle and Iolo will assassinate me? Hmmm..."
  Just then a red moongate arose in front of him and the traitorous Avatar
stepped out of it with his vile henchmen. The Avatar attempted to fool
British by greeting him casually, but it didn't work since he was already
aware of their plans of regicide.
  "I would not have believed this of you! You sneak into my castle and
assassinate me! Well, you rotten usurpers, it shall not be so easy -- you
will only do so over my dead body!!"
  Lord British leaped at the Avatar, hand ready for his infamous Death Blow.
  The Avatar was so confused by the king's behaviour that he tripped to the
floor and the lethal strike missed him. No further attacks could be commenced
as again something weird happened.
  A being looking something like a lion appeared in the middle of the throne
room accompanied by a teleporter effect. "You seen my ship around? I lost it
somewhere in this system many years ago", it growled in a language that
neither British nor the Avatar could understand. As the beast realized this,
it turned on its Universal Translator and a monotonic voice intoned, "Tayk Me
To Thy Lea Der."
  Dupre, whose skills in understanding Heavily-Accented Victorian English
were sadly lacking, thought the feline had demanded them to hand their king
over so it could feed on his blood. The valiant knight yelled out the name of
the ancient King of the Black Dragon as a battle cry and darted forward to
defend his lord, long sword poised.
  The lion dodged with cat-like reflexes and slashed Dupre with sharp-fanged
paws. "Man this place is hostile. I'm getting out of here", the furball
breathed. Then, tapping the small communicator badge on his left paw, "One to
beam up."
  The feline vanished with another neat teleporter effect. The Avatar hurried
to Dupre to see how badly he had been hurt. The single strike had ripped his
chain mail apart along with his lucky shirt that he had used during the Quest
of the Avatar and had never washed since. The claws had really cut deep and
a lesser man would already have perished from the wound.
  (Of course, a lesser man would probably not have attacked in the first
place, which again demonstrates how the Principles of Truth and Love are much
wiser than Courage. The Truth is, the creature is bigger than I am.
Therefore, Love would suggest leaving the poor thing alone and beating
a hasty retreat in order to prevent it hurting its jaws chomping on my armor.
Such an act could also be seen as unusually applied Courage, depending on
which excuse I use...)
  Dupre attempted to sit up on the shiny marble floor of the throne room, and
coughed, "No no, it's just a flesh wound -- I'll live --" Then he dropped
back horizontal and blacked out.
  "My liege LB, we need thine help", the Avatar begged of British. "While
Dupre claimeth otherwise, I fear he mayeth pass on should he not be healed,
and I am fresh out of mana!"
  Lord British stepped to Dupre and waved his hand. Light began to shine on
the poor man through the large mosaic window in the back of the throne room,
and he rose slowly into the air. A glimmering blue aura surrounded him while
an angelic chorus' singing echoed in the background. His body started to
shine with every color of the rainbow and he slowly opened his eyes as the
force of life streamed back into him.
  "That has got to be a trick. If only I could figure out how it's done",
Iolo wondered.
  British's powers ran short and the levitation spell failed, abruptly
dropping Dupre to the ground on his back. "So much for flashiness", British
panted exhausted.
  Dupre got up from the floor, holding his aching head.

Lord British stared at Dupre blankly for a moment. "Now what was I just
doing, anyway? ... oh never mind. How nice that you could fit some time into
your busy schedule to come and see your king. Right, I suppose you're all in
healthy condition and ready for some action so here's a Quest for you: Go
forth into the Underworld that someone has rebuilt and retrieve from there
an illustrious artifact whose power is beyond compare --"
  "The Ultimate Shrine", the Avatar guessed.
  "Yeah, that's the one. Go and fetch it so it can be used, for the good of
the society, hehehe."
  "As thou wishest, milord", the Avatar bowed.
  "Shamino here doesn't believe the Underworld exists anymore", Iolo pointed
out gleefully.
  "Of course he doth believe it existeth, or would he deny the king's word?"
  The ranger grunted something, staring at his reflection in the polished
marble floor.
  "Oh and while you're down there, why don't you find out why the Underworld
is still intact. If it's not too much trouble."
  "OK, LB", the Avatar bowed again. "When shall we set off?"
  "You'll set off tomorrow at sunrise. But enough of that. We will now hold
a celebration in honor of your return!"

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

It was a misty morning. The twin moons of Britannia were slowly disappearing
behind the horizon. The sky was bright blue with clouds dotting it sparsely.
The air was crisp, sweet and just a tad moist. Many kinds of birds were
chirping out greetings to their fellows. The whole land was radiating love.
Everything was just unbelievably beautiful.
  Wait, let me correct that: nature was beautiful, the people were not.
Especially those people who had been partying until wee morning hours.
  The hallowed halls of Castle Britannia were littered by passed out people.
Most of them were Britannian celebrities but some of the castle's staff could
be seen here and there. Everything was still and silent, except for
occasional groans or grunts. And then there was the Avatar of course.
  The Avatar wasn't tired at all. He had gambled unwisely early in the
evening and lost all his valuables. Since the drinks weren't free in
British's celebrations, he had decided to retire early.
  He found Dupre lying under a table in the inner courtyard of the castle. As
several nudges, shakes and kicks wouldn't wake the hung-over knight, the
Avatar cast an Awaken spell on him and dragged him along, looking for the
others.
  Iolo was sleeping it off in a corner of the kitchen and eventually he was
found too. The Avatar awakened him and told him to wait in the kitchen with
Dupre while he went to look for Shamino.
  "You owe me five gold", Dupre muttered. Iolo collapsed back into the corner
and hurt his head bumping on the wall.
  "What... for..?"
  "You said the chandelier could take your weight", Dupre yawned deeply. He
turned to look at Iolo who hadn't responded. The guy had fallen asleep again.
Dupre shrugged and snuggled into a comfortable position next to Iolo.

The Avatar had been going around the castle for ten minutes until he found
Shamino, who was sleeping on the royal throne, wearing Lord British's crown.
The intricate mosaic window in the back of the room had been smashed and some
tapestries had been torn from the walls.
  "I'm Lord British", Shamino mumbled gutturally.
  "Aye -- and I am the Avatar of Britannia", the Avatar replied lifting him
to his feet.
  "No really! Look, I've got the crown and the scepter and the amulet", he
rambled. He was briefly confused by not seeing the latter two objects
anywhere. "Uh. I, um. Oh yeaah... they're in the invib -- inven -- invincible
chest behind the throne..."
  "Come on, thou, get up and get ready. I shall return the crown to his
majesty, while thou canst go to the kitchen and help Dupre and Iolo pack some
provisions for our journey."
  The Avatar climbed the short set of stairs on the side of the throne room
and knocked on the door of Lord British's bedchamber. He thought he heard
a panicked whisper and some strange sounds, sort of like a bunch of people
being stuffed into a closet. "I have thy crown, my liege", he called out
politely.
  A moment's silence. Then British's voice came muffled from behind the door,
"Are you trying to blackmail me?"
  "Er, no, I --" he tried to explain. He heard a silent cough and several
shushes. "I'll just... I'll just leave it here, shall I sir? Right." Then he
hurried off to the kitchen.

In the kitchen he found his three companions all huddled together, sleeping
peacefully. He rolled his eyes and cast Mass Awaken, yanking his companions
roughly back from slumberland.
  The castle's drawbridge collapsed down and the heroes of Britannia marched
out. Dupre was still in the twilight zone and after a semi-conscious glance
at the moat below them, he decided he could do with some water.
  The Avatar eyed the knight who was trying to swim to the bank of the moat,
hampered by his heavy armor but finally completely awake. "A good idea", he
smiled fiendishly and pushed the other two companions off the drawbridge too.
  After some moments of drying, they were at last as good as ready to set out
on their Quest for the Ultimate Shrine. They still had some planning to do,
however. Choosing the route to the Underworld proved to be a minor dilemma.
  "I think we should warp to the Temple of the Codex with the Orb of the
Moons and hike to the Underworld through Dungeon Hythloth", Dupre suggested.
"That way we'll get the most eventful trip since there's lava and dragons and
horrible demons from the netherworlds -- it'll be great! Real action, drama
and romance --"
  "'Dances with demons'", Iolo sniggered.
  "Hythloth has been sealed again so we can't go that way", Shamino told
them. "We'd have to go to Moonglow to ask the Council of Mages what the Word
of Power of the Day is."
  "In any case I would hardly enjoy wading through a sewer", the Avatar said.
"I mean, the mucky sanitation system of New Magincia... Hythloth..."
  The others were looking at him blankly. "The sewers... below -- no, wait,
'twas an alternate reality, or some, something, uh... ah."
  Iolo then broke the awkward silence. "We could warp to the Temple of the
Codex and take the way through the Great Stygian Abyss."
  "No one has been there since the sad attempt at colonizing the place",
Shamino reminded them. "The whole Abyss is probably a real mess, what with
the volcano eruption and the affair with the demon. And guess who'll they
send to do the remapping -- again."
  "But we could go that way", Iolo continued. "Sure, it's gonna be tough but
we're tough too!" He pounded his chest with his fist and doubled over,
coughing and wheezing.
  "A nice idea, and well thought", the Avatar commended. He was looking
somewhat uneasy. "However... I sort of challenged some people to a friendly
game, or few, of Nim last night, and I sort of, lost."
  "What, all your gold?"
  "Ah, that, aye. And my cloak. And, my Ankh. And... the Orb..."
  Another pensive silence settled on the party.
  "No big loss", Shamino mumbled under his breath, "you'd probably screw up
the location again and we'd end up knee deep in --"
  "Perhaps thou hast a solution then? Wouldst thou care to enlighten us?"
  "Get a ship", was his pert reply.
  After a moment Iolo nodded. "Yeah, we could get a cheap one from Trinsic!"
  Dupre nodded likewise. "Yeah, the rest of us still have gold!"
  "Yeah, and then we'll sail to the Isle of You and do the Abyss!"
  The Avatar deliberated for a moment, looking very annoyed. "Fine. What are
you waiting for? Come on, hit the King's Way."

The adventuring party headed through Paws and walked south on the King's Way.
The area between Paws and Trinsic was mostly flat plains, with little
plantlife beyond wild grass. An exception to this was a small marsh a few
kilometers after Paws where they had to do battle with icky slime blobs that
wouldn't let them pass without a toll.
  The road then rounded a bit to the east and went near the ocean shore for
several kilometers. After that there was a patch of forest on the west side
of the road and Iolo went to relieve himself in the woods while the others
waited. Iolo was escorted back by a gang of highway robbers, the biggest of
whom was holding his short sword on Iolo's throat. He demanded to be given
all their equipment and gold.
  "Ahem", the Avatar quickly corrected. "I am the party's first man."
  "Yeah, okay, so give us your stuff or the old man gets it!"
  "Look, thou shouldst be holding thy blade on me, not this helpless old --"
  The bandits started laughing. "Perhaps 'thou' wouldst like us to try again
to do it properly?"
  "Nay, but yonder lord hath a commanding presence! We must do as he biddeth
us!"
  "Lo, all behold his mighty butter knife, wahahahaha!! >:)"
  The Avatar breathed in sharply at this insult. "You would insult my knife?
Know that it hath saved many innocent lives and wasted countless evil ones!"
  "OK", the big man said. "Enough! Now, drop your weapons and start dishing
out your belongings or I'll lose my patience. You don't wanna see me lose my
patience."
  "You've only got the four of us covered", Iolo grunted, nodding at someone
behind the man. "You forgot one."
  "What?" the thief turned his head to look around him and make sure
everything was under control.
  "Say hello to my little friend", Iolo smiled chaotically, firing a bolt in
his aggressor's leg and twisting the man's sword arm from his throat. Dupre
and Shamino had their swords out in an instant. The Avatar was already moving
at the closest opponent.
  The robbers only had two bowmen, both standing at the edge of the forest.
They fired some arrows, killing seven of their own men as is usual when using
long-range weapons. Shamino easily deflected two arrows that were aimed at
him with his sword, while Dupre was standing back-to-back with him, fighting
with fervor that had not been seen in Britannia since the last incident with
the Guardian.
  Iolo got an excellent chance to show off his marksmanship by breaking
several arrows in mid-air with his bolts before finally finishing the bowmen.
The Avatar taught the robbers not to underestimate the power of MsX, his
beloved knife. "Respect her authoritae", was his battlecry.
  Emerging victorious, the heroes travelled on for an hour. They were about
halfway to Trinsic when night fell, and they camped on the side of the road.
During the second watch, after midnight, a vicious pack of wolves attacked
them, assisted by a band of gremlins armed to the teeth with appetite.
  The next morning was not very sunny, and the mist was heavy. It began to
rain shortly after the companions had broken camp. A huge bridge troll
wouldn't let them pass and the Avatar had to wrestle with him. The Avatar
lost and got chucked off the bridge so they had to wade across the ten-meter
stream.
  A baby dragon had flown from the Serpent's Spine and sat in the middle of
the road. It was feeling hungry and attempted to roast the heroes who then
kicked the drake until it ran away screaming for help. An insane mage blocked
their path and demanded a sacrifice so the companions had to find a mandrake
root to appease him. A group of gypsies walked past them and tried to pick
their pockets, ending up unconscious and losing all their gold instead.
A huge mommy dragon chased them around for bullying her child.
  Finally, the Avatar and his brave three companions could see the city walls
of Trinsic. They were very exhausted and looked pretty bad with many injuries
and torn clothes. The Avatar led them to the northern gate and requested
admittance.
  "What's the password", asked the watchman behind the steel portcullis.
  "Blackbird?" ventured the Avatar.
  "Long live the king?" guessed Dupre.
  "Pleeeeeze?" whined Shamino.
  "We really have to use the bathroom?" tried Iolo.
  "Nope", the watchman replied, leaning on the portcullis winch. "Can't let
you in if you don't know the password."
  The Avatar clenched his fists, breathing deeply. It was one of those
watchmen again who take their jobs -way- too seriously. "I am... the...
Avatar."
  "We don't want any troublemakers in Trinsic and you look like the worst
sort of 'em. And even if you were the Avatar, that would be no reason to let
you in. They say the Avatar always brought trouble wherever he went and he
was always firing the cannons on our battlements accidentally killing people
and he stole the Rune of Honor -- it's not like I actually cared about the
thing itself, I've never heard of anything so utterly useless, but it's
a matter of principle. If you were the Avatar I'd gladly beat you up but
since you're just a sad bunch of scoundrels, why don't you take your filthy
behinds somewhere out of vicinity of our beautiful city?"
  The Avatar grabbed the lowered portcullis and, veins popping out, ripped it
off. He tossed it aside and strode into the city, glaring at the watchman so
meanly the poor fellow could but whimper and huddle into a corner.

The sun, however, had already decided to set and the honorable merchants of
the city took this as a heavenly sign to close for the day. The shipwrights'
door was slammed shut and barred just as the Avatar was getting close.
  "Giant rats. Now what shall we do", he sighed. "Dupre, please give me
a statement of our current financial assets."
  "We've got... 249 gold coins, three gold nuggets and one finely polished
jewel." As the Avatar lifted his brows inquiringly, the knight shrugged. "We
got it off of our liege at the party. You see --"
  "A long story", Iolo cut in quickly. He exchanged wide grins with Dupre.
  "Mmmkay, soundeth good. Iolo, what wouldst thou appraise a sea-going vessel
to cost?"
  "A very cheap really small totally cannonless ship... maybe around three
hundred. I reckon that jewel will suffice. We need to unload it somewhere
pretty soon anyway..."
  "Not ungood, great even. Shamino, how expensive are the lodging and
supplies here?"
  "What you say?" grunted Shamino, who only wandered up to them now.
  "How expensive... are the lodging... and supplies here?"
  "How should I know", he replied and leaned on a wall giving the impression
of not caring.
  The Avatar's brow creased. "What bothereth him?"
  "He's still a bit miffed about that Time Lord deal", Iolo told quietly.
"I suppose he feels somehow inadequate because of his traumatic youth and is
thus easily depressed whenever someone fails to properly appreciate his
talents."
  "Aye?"
  "I'm sure he'll get over it. He always does. He has this sort of a positive
outlook on life, doubtless a defensive mechanism he has developed earlier as
a response to the evils of the world, such as Companions making fun of him,
girl friends dumping him or never finding a matching pair of socks."
  "I see."
  "Of course it's just my own humble hypothesis but I reckon his tree-hugging
behaviour is also a result of a youth gone awry. He seems to find consolation
in the silence of nature as opposed to the chaotic situation he found himself
in at all other times. He uses nature as his only link to another, more
orderly life, because nature cannot talk back to him and wittily counter his
every argument."
  "Right."
  "I don't believe you've ever met his family? He was an only child. It's not
like his mother wouldn't have loved him but his father, you see, was not too
kind a man. Or, I suppose technically you could say he loved him too --"
  "Shut up already! We should go and find the inn."

It was easy to locate the Honorable Hound. The companions were refused
service at the bar for some reason, and they had to resort to sharing some
units of Food Iolo had taken along from the Castle and that had been spared
in the last night's gremlin assault.
  It was getting late, so the Avatar marched up to the Innkeeper and showed
a friendly smile. "Peace be on this noble house. Prithee tell me, would you
perchance have a simple room available for us weary travelers to rest this
night in?"
  The innkeeper looked at the Avatar and his friends with distaste. "I'm
afraid we're booked solid."
  "We would be content with any meager shelter you could provide."
  "Haven't got any. Not for you anyway."
  The Avatar glanced at his companions calmly. "No prob. Dupre, couldst thou
make some room for us, please?"
  "With pleasure", breathed Dupre and proceeded upstairs. Moments later one
of the guests ran down screaming and fled to the darkness outside. Dupre
emerged as well and casually rejoined the others.
  "Thank thee. Now, about that room..."
  "Was that Virtuous??" the innkeeper gasped.
  "Sure it was, this is the Avatar, he knows all about Virtue. Tell him, Av",
smiled Dupre, nudging the Avatar. The Avatar cleared his throat.
  "Well, thou seest, simply put my friend sir Dupre Compassionately allowed
the patron to express Sacrifice by Honorably escorting him out in order to
fulfill the demands for Justice, which in this case is that we as the
legendary heroes of Britannia deserve the room more than he did."
  "Yeap, and I'm sure he could somehow tie in the rest of the Virtues if you
gave him a few minutes to think", Iolo grinned.
  The innkeeper seemed almost distressed for a moment but quickly composed
himself and eyed them in amused arrogance. "So if he's Dupre, who's the old
man? That one ranger guy who constantly wears diapers?"
  "You're picking BLOOD outta your nose, friend", Shamino's eyes flashed.
Iolo frowned but said nothing.
  "I've read all about you someplace. And that unfortunate mistress of
yours..."
  Shamino sidled a bit closer to the man and made his point clearer. "...With
a TWO-HANDED SWORD ..."
  The Avatar moved his hand stealthily to the knife on his belt.
  Dupre grabbed his sword, ready to slice something vital off of the arrogant
man.
  Shamino pulled a throwing knife from his belt and started flipping it in
the air, keeping an intent stare on the man.
  Iolo scratched his back while surreptitiously taking hold of his crossbow.
  "Don't even try anything", the innkeeper warned in fear. "I've hired one of
the toughest creatures ever to walk on the face of this land as my personal
bodyguard!"
  Everyone stared at each other without blinking. The companions had had
a really tiring day, none of them wanted another huge fight. Still, they were
not going to give up, such insults would not be let pass. Yet, perhaps the
panicky fellow was bluffing..?
  "She's a horrible Demon from the Ethereal Void", the innkeeper pressed on.
"Used to work for Lord British but she didn't get to horribly mutilate enough
people there."
  Iolo glanced at the Avatar, who remained silent. After a few seconds the
Avatar spoke. "Did she not?"
  "No, no, she cherishes in bloodbaths. She's a vicious killer I tell you!
She's the Princess of Darkness who --"
  Just then they heard a high-pitched, squeaky noise from the outer doorway.
"Any problems, sirs?"
  The Avatar was amazed at seeing the small creature at the door.
  Dupre let go of his sword and blurted, "Huh?"
  Shamino forgot about his knife as he saw the creature.
  Iolo said, "Argh!" trying to get his arm back into a natural position.
  "Sherry?!" they all uttered at the same time, except Shamino who screamed
in pain as his right boot was pierced by a forgotten throwing knife.
  The innkeeper looked exasperated and tried to come up with anything scary
he could say about a mouse. "She's got huge fangs..." he cried, gesturing
wildly, "She can leap about!"
  "Avatar! How nice of you to stop by", the mouse squeaked happily. She
eagerly ran to the Avatar, who picked her up. "Hey, he's the Avatar, give
them the best rooms in the house!" she told the innkeeper.
  The man fell silent, briefly considering his options. "Of course, Sherry.
Errr... here's the key to the penthouse, milords. There's plenty of room
there for all of you." He handed a Yellow Key to Dupre, who was closest, and
sighed heavily.
  "Oh dear, that must be really expensive", Dupre worried.
  "Why, for you it's naturally free", Sherry laughed before the innkeeper
could say anything. His momentarily returned sarcastic grin went down the
drain along with his posture.
  The Avatar nodded, relaxing visibly. "Great, thank thee ever so much,
Sherry my dear. Men, you shall go to bed right away so that you are strong
and able to face the perils before ye, for tomorrow our glorious quest shalt
truly begin! I shall go and have a late-night snack with Sherry."
  The companions grumbled but went upstairs.
  "How didst thou end up working for him", the Avatar queried as they went to
the bar. The innkeeper behind them sat down and considered a change of
career.
  The bar was closing down for the night but they were allowed in. The lights
were all extinguished, except for a single candle left on a table they went
to.
  "It pays for the cheese", she shrugged. "So how've you been?"
  "Same old, same old. Going to save Britannia."
  "Oh. Pretty cool, huh."
  "Aye."
  "Yeah."
  Silence.
  "It hath been a while since I last heard the story of Hubert the Lion", the
Avatar then prompted quietly, feeling inexplicably shy and not looking into
her eyes. He gazed at the candle's flickering flame and admired the subtle
shadows it made.
  Sherry couldn't help but smile. "I could recite it to you... but could you
scratch me behind the ear? I'd really like that."
  "Well..." He did have a weak spot for furry little animals. "Only because
thou askest." He reached out and gently stroked her behind the ear. Her
giggle was strangely comforting. Her eyes reflected the candle's flame
elegantly. As she begun the story, he closed his eyes and let his mind drift
along with her soft, sweet words.
  "Hubert the Lion was haughty and vain, and especially proud of his elegant
mane. But, conceit of this sort isn't proper at all, and Hubert the Lion was
due for a fall ..."

When the child of morning, rosy-fingered dawn, appeared, the three companions
of the Avatar got up early and were feeling very refreshed. The Avatar
decided that the others should go and find a cheap boat while he rested
a moment longer, since leading a bunch of stupid companions like them was
really a pain.
  An hour later the three returned. They had little compassion for the Avatar
who had only sneaked in to sleep just before sunrise. He was dragged out of
bed, out of the inn and off to the town harbor despite his weak protests.
  The Avatar was instantly jolted awake when he saw the ship his party now
was the proud owner of. "By the Virtues!!" When he recovered from the shock,
he stammered, "Could we not afford anything better?"
  The ship had been built several centuries earlier. She seemed to be on the
verge of sinking. There were numerous seaweeds all over her. The gray, moldy,
torn pieces of cloth serving as sails fluttered uneasily on the two masts
that were left. The figurehead might have depicted something beautiful
sometime but the Avatar could not tell what as the thing was no longer on the
ship at all.
  The name could barely be made out on the side of the ship. "HMS Cape."
  "Avatar, this was once the sleekest, quickest, toughest, most powerful ship
in all Britannia. It was really cheap too, cost us only that nice jewel",
Iolo enthused.
  The other one of the two remaining masts let out its final creak, cracked
and fell into the sea.
  "Plus three gold nuggets for shipping and taxes", Dupre reminded.
  Dupre and Shamino pushed the Avatar on board while Iolo untied the
fastening rope from the pier.
  "Wa, wa- wait!" the Avatar cried. His cries were cut short as the deck
below gave way. "Ooh, oops", mumbled his escorts.
  "Hey, give me a hand! I fell halfway through the bilge!"
  "What's the bilge mean", Dupre bellowed back.
  "The bottom! Water keepeth gushing in, I am drowning!!"

Later, when the ship had been repaired enough to pass as seaworthy, they
cleared the moorings and the voyage could begin. Despite her worn looks and
old age, she was still an amazing goer.
  The Avatar stood at the bow of the ship, with Iolo next to him leaning on
the rail. A high-spirited Shamino was at the helm, enjoying the refreshing
breeze on his face immensely. Dupre adjusted the sails now and then. The sea
was quiet and calm. The ship was traveling with the wind in no hurry.
  "How was Sherry", asked Iolo quietly.
  After a short pause, the Avatar answered. "She was just fine. She wanted to
come with... along with us. But I told her it would be too dangerous."
  "I guess it was sensible."
  "But I truly hope she was not upset. She did not even show up to say
farewell."
  Iolo patted him on the shoulder and smiled warmly. The Avatar sighed
lightly and smiled as well. He turned around and noticed Dupre giving him
a dirty look before resuming with another miscellaneous rope.
  "We are just friends", the Avatar called to him. He wondered why he felt
like he was blushing. "Huh, well, Iolo. I thought this ship had sunk?"
  "Aw yeah, I guess she did. Around the times when you became the Avatar and
we first went down the Abyss. The merchant told us she was magically lifted
up from the bottom of the sea a few days ago. Really, Avatar, don't let the
looks fool you. She will really soar onward when we hit favourable winds.
Even her durability alone is incredible."
  "Sure, otherwise this excuse for a ship would have decomposed long ago like
all normal ships. In other words, this ship is a freak", the Avatar joked.
"Say, did you buy any new equipment before we left?"
  "Glad you reminded", said Dupre, getting a glimmer in his eyes. He stopped
tying down a random rope and went below the deck. "Come take a look."
  The Avatar followed Dupre, wiping some gunk from the rail off his cloth
shirt's sleeve. Having descended to the hold, he was given a shiny new mail
of chain. He pulled the mail on over his leather jacket and covered it with
his orange tunic.
  "And, we also got you a new ankh..." Dupre mumbled, handing a cheap tin
pendant to the Avatar.
  "Thank thee... Dupre, I see thou hast a two-handed sword there", the Avatar
noted, slipping the ankh-equivalent around his neck.
  "Ah, yes, we would have brought you one as well but you seem terribly
attached to that butter knife..."
  "'Tis a fine knife, make no mistake. But I meant, what of Iolo and
Shamino?"
  "Oh. Iolo has grown pretty attached to his crossbow so he'd never trade it
for another weapon, and Shamino's not man enough for a weapon like this. Feel
the blade, feel the curvature, feel the gleam, ohh yeaaa..."
  "Is it getting warm in here?"
  "Anyway, that's craftsmanship that is. Besides, I can wield it with the
greatest efficiency since I've the highest Strength of us."
  "What? No thou hast not, I have 60 STR! How canst thou beat that?"
  "Ho ho ho, not anymore! When you went back to your home land, all your
statistics were reset!"
  Suddenly the horrible truth was revealed to the Avatar. "But -- But --"
  "The Isle of Fire --"
  "We have to go there right away to remedy the situation!!"
  "-- has sunken back to the bottom of the sea years ago", Dupre finished
with a wicked grin. The Avatar fell on his knees and buried his face in his
hands.
  "Thou art right, sir Dupre! I am just not an Avatar! I am not Strong or
Dextrous or Intelligent or anything! I am not even -sniff- I am not even
Virtuous! Waaaaaa!!!"
  "There there."

Two days later the HMS Cape was sighted at Buccaneer's Den. The venerable
ship crashed into the pier and a somewhat confused Avatar stepped off.
  "How ended we here? Is not my Isle a ways to the Southeast from here?"
  "We don't have any means to alter the wind so we just drift wherever nature
would have us", Dupre answered cautiously.
  "Um, I could understand how it would be impossible to sail into the wind,
but 'tis blowing from the Southwest! I could have sworn that was ideal for
sailing East from the Cape of the Heroes."
  "Ahhhh, yes you see", Dupre stalled, glancing at their vessel. "As great
a ship as she may be, there doesn't appear to be any way to actually steer
her. My guess is, the rudder's fallen off somewhere along the way."
  "But I thought Shamino was navigating?"
  "Nah, he looked so happy I didn't have the heart to tell him."
  "So we have been adrift all this time?"
  Dupre nodded. The Avatar digested this for a moment.
  "Fine. We shall wait here until the wind changeth."

Three days later the HMS Cape left the Den behind. After a day and a half of
uneventful sailing, a violent storm brewed up in the night and blew the ship
over. Luckily they were near an island and the ship was whisked onto dry
land.
  The Avatar made a small campfire under the ship's shelter. The companions
gathered around the small blaze, trying to keep warm. After shivering there
for some minutes, the Avatar decided to take action.
  "Shamino, go and scout the area, wilt thou?"
  "What?! The rain's lashing the land like a feverish sadist!"
  "Go on! Thou art the ranger."
  Shamino stood up and darted into the storm, grumbling. "Overworked...
Underpaid... No control over my life..."
  An hour later he had still not returned. The others were getting really
worried, so they sent Dupre to look for Shamino.
  Another hour passed with no sign of either Dupre or Shamino. The storm was
slowly subsiding and glimpses of dawn could be seen amidst the parting dark
masses. The Avatar and Iolo were wet, shivering and very uncomfortable. They
were getting very hungry since all their provisions had been washed into the
sea.
  They waited half an hour longer and then set off together looking for the
others. They passed west through the nearby forest and stopped dead after
fifty meters.
  "That is not a castle is it?" asked the Avatar. "I am but seeing things."
  "I think it's a hold", Iolo replied.
  "What makest thou of yonder houses by the... hold?"
  "One of them has a sign that says, Serpent Fang Inn."
  They walked closer. Another sign below the larger one proclaimed, 'Happy
Hour All Night'. The Avatar kicked the door in and strode into the inn, Iolo
flanking him. Moments later their two missing companions scurried out of the
inn and off to their wrecked ship to do some frenzied repairs.

The HMS Cape was returned to seaworthiness without delay, but they could not
set off again since after the strong north wind died, a mighty south wind
took its place and prevailed for several days. The party stayed at the
Serpent's Fang inn, and one dreary morning, as they were having breakfast,
the Avatar had a brilliant idea.
  "We could row the ship!"
  Iolo gagged on his cereal and Dupre pounded him on the back. Shamino looked
shocked. "How can you of all people suggest something like that!?"
  "What is wrong with it?"
  "Rowing is hardly fitting for heroes of our stature!" Iolo shrieked, slowly
recovering.
  "We consider rowing vulgar and inappropriate", Shamino growled.
  "Please do not mention this subject again", Dupre warned.
  A very old gypsy man sitting in a nearby table stood up and walked to them.
He wore an unsettling grin and he chuckled between sentences. "I'm sorry, I
couldn't help overhearing your problem, hohoho. It just happens I might be
able to help you..."
  "Oh yeah?" Shamino glared at him.
  "Yeeeheeeheehee... I know of a mage, in Moonglow..."
  "He will row our ship to the Isle?" asked the Avatar.
  "Oh hohoho... who knows a spell which can change the way the wind blows..."
  "He will give us fair wind so we can reach the Isle?" the Avatar guessed.
  "Hawhawhaw", the gypsy coughed violently. "Seek ye the Eggs of a Giant
Ant, which can crush a man in full armor..."
  The Avatar glanced at his companions. "The eggs shall serve as a reagent
for the spell of wind change enabling us to reach the Isle?"
  "He he he he... Go to the Dry Land, where the sun scorches all and Sand
Traps gobble foolish travellers..."
  "The wind spell eggs are there and we have to bring them to the mage in
Moonglow so he can blow us to the Isle?"
  "Yeeheeeeheeheheheheee!" the gypsy wheezed, spat on Iolo's back and
disappeared without a trace. The companions considered the situation.
  "I didn't know there still were giant ants in the Dry Land. I thought we
had wiped them all out a couple hundred years back?" Dupre wondered.
  "Actually", Iolo reminisced, "I seem to remember hearing about a giant ant
herder in Vesper."
  "Right", the Avatar nodded decisively. "The wind bloweth from the south so
we might as well make for Vesper. We shall take off immediately once Iolo
finisheth with those cereals."

Soon the HMS Cape sailed off from Serpent's Hold, blown north by the wind.
On the next day's evening the ship swerved past the island where New Magincia
lay, and after another day and a half they finally ended up on the southern
shores of the Dry Lands. Vesper, the quaint if a bit dehydrated village, sat
before the brave party of Virtuous adventurers.
  Leaving their water-logged wreck on the beach where she had landed they
quickly made their way into the local center of refreshment, the Gilded
Lizard. They were all very tired and they spent the night in the pub's small
back room, partly because the stairs looked too stressing to climb and also
because they really couldn't afford proper lodging anymore.

In the night the Avatar had a strange vision-like dream. Lord British,
levitating in blue void, uttered onto him, "AVATAR! Know that Britannia has
stepped back into an old Age of Darkness. Know that the time has FINALLY COME
for the one True Lord of Britannia to take his place at the head of his
people! Under My Guidance Britannia shall Flourish, and all her people shall
REJOICE!! and pay Homage to their new... Lord British!"
  "This seemeth distantly familiar", thought the Avatar.
  "Know that you too shall kneel before Me, Avatar. You too shall acknowledge
My Omnipotence for you cannot raise your levels without My help and are thus
completely helpless and at the mercy of your... MASTER! MWAHAHAHAha!" British
laughed insanely.
  "Har har har", replied the Avatar drily. "The last time an entity was
planning stuff along those lines, his plans were seriously Foiled. And so
will be thine, I guarantee it", he commented politely, presuming British had
gone haywire.
  "Do note o Avatar, this was a short passage from my diary in the times of
Britannia's unification", Lord British told him. His royal purple robes
turned yellow.
  "'Tis a tad illogical... I was not the Avatar yet. Why didst thou tell me
about it? ... Hath thy crown always looked like a stuffed seal? And where did
thy limbs disappear?"
  "Don't ask me, it's your dream. Hey, what --" British blurted out looking
upward. A shadow had fallen on him, growing larger and larger, until suddenly
an anvil fell on him from somewhere rather high.
  "You Twisted Sicko!" British cried. "I don't have to take this... Goodbye,
Avatar!" he shrieked, cast Help and returned to his own dream where he was
a huge dinosaur wreaking havoc in Britannia.

The Avatar woke up at sunrise, noticing his stalwart party had already gone
ahead to have breakfast. He stretched a bit before heading over to the pub
proper.
  "My back hurts", Iolo moaned in a creaky voice at the table the companions
had grabbed. The Avatar joined the others, bidding them fair morning.
  "Must've been that cold stone floor", Dupre thought aloud, wondering
absent-mindedly what the stuff on his plate was.
  The Avatar asked Dupre for some cash and received a handful of gold coins.
He cleared his throat, calling the bartender over. "Garcon!"
  "Had to be the cold stone floor, the Avatar caught a cold too", Dupre kept
pondering while jabbing one gooey potatoey chunk with his fork. It squealed.
  "What's your poison, o bearer of the Ankh", the owner/waitress/cook/
ingeneralalltherestofthem asked.
  "Wouldst thou bring me a meager serving for breakfast, please?"
  The bartender vacated and a few moments later returned, crossdressed up as
a waitress. He flung a plateful of something or other in front of the Avatar.
"There you go, that'll be... cook's wages, owner's share, my wages, taxes,
a hefty tip, protection money... call it, five gold coins."
  The Avatar handed the man eight coins and lowered his voice. "Thou wouldst
not happen to know aught of giant ants?.."
  "Yeah, uh, the ant farmer had a minor... accident. The giant ants somehow
opened the gate of the magical lightning fence, and they wrecked everything
to the west of our oasis. You know, the part of town where all those
gargoyles lived."
  "But, but what happened to all those cute gargoyles", Shamino cried
frightened, ceasing enjoying his breakfast.
  "The gargoyles put up a very nice fight. They squashed every single giant
ant there were left in our town..."
  Shamino's expression elevated to a victorious grin.
  "... only they had that nasty habit of chucking down a vial of Silver
Serpent Venom before battles. Very handy if you ask me, we got rid of two
pests with one battle, hehe."
  Shamino went ashen. Dupre smiled sardonically to himself, carefully pushing
his plate away from himself. Iolo was concentrating on licking his own plate
dry after a hearty meal.
  The Avatar was concerned. "Then there are no more giant ants anywhere?"
  The waitress seemed to be considering this earnestly, but his outheld palm
indicated otherwise. The Avatar emptied his pockets and gave his last wealth,
three coins, to him.
  "One of these's got something sticky on it... Well, what would you need
those XL ants for, if I may ask?"
  "Ah, thou seest... we were... merely... intending to find out how an
omelette of giant ant eggs would taste", the Avatar slowly replied.
  Iolo whispered to him shocked, "Avatar!? That's a Lie!"
  The Avatar whispered back, "Naynay, 'tis just not the whole truth... what
canst thou use eggs for except for omelettes? The Mage in Moonglow surely
desireth to taste such, and certainly we will get a bite as well."
  "Yeah right, you're not the first ones", the waitress interjected. "Dunno
what the mage really uses those for, maybe reagents or something, I'm not
into magic. Anyway, I've got a bunch of giant ant eggs cluttering up the
basement, so uh, take all you want, I've no need for them."
  "Thank thee kindly, sir. Come on, men, down to the basement!"
  Iolo hogged a handful of unsavoury food with him greedily from Dupre's
plate before following the others downstairs.

It was very dark in the basement. "Uh... who had the torches?" the Avatar
asked, standing at the entrance.
  "Me..." Dupre mumbled, lighting one and holding it up for illumination.
  The below-ground floor of the Gilded Lizard looked like a rather generic
storage cellar. The basement was about three meters from floor to ceiling,
and the floor and the walls were cluttered with shelves and stacks of crates
filled with a wide variety of utterly useless objects. The air was reasonably
thick and dry, kind of like the place wouldn't have had any sort of air
ventilation for the last ten years.
  Actually the sophisticated air conditioning system was just kept off to
keep the electric bills down. 
  "Ho, I nearly fell", the Avatar stopped suddenly after a few steps. The
stairs leading down to the basement did a sharp ninety-degree turn, and the
dusty platform at halfway of the stairs was still over a meter from the
floor. The Avatar tottered lightly at the edge before taking a step back.
  Something screamed in a terrifying voice from between the open basement
door and the wall, "BOO!!" and the Avatar instinctively jumped forward,
turning to look back. The result was that he tumbled down to the floor,
wrenched his ankle, broke his arm, fractured his leg, dislocated his rib cage
and lost eightteen hit points.
  While the Avatar wheezed almost unconscious on the floor, Shamino leaped to
the door and booted it shut. There was nothing behind it. Iolo noticed
something darting behind a few barrels in the corner and pointed there.
  The Avatar pounded the floor in agony with his better leg and accidentally
smashed his heel.
  Shamino instantly leaped to the barrels and commanded in his heaviest
voice, "Come out! We know that you're in there, and that you're all alone!"
  The mysterious shadow behind the barrels stayed still and silent a moment
before replying in a meek voice. "I can't come out, I'm a bogeyman. You'd be
scared to death if you saw me."
  "Let's Maim It 'Til It Stops Movin'!" Dupre roared excited.
  "Maiming me without looking at me may prove mildly challenging."
  "So what do you care if we are scared to death or not?" Iolo asked
suspiciously.
  "Oh dear, I'd be kicked out of the Union of Bogeymen. It's against the
regulations to frighten anyone to death, we get monthly payments from the
government to adhere to this. Of course it's a different matter to scare
someone to fall a meter so clumsily they lose a few hippos."
  The voice behind the barrels fell silent again, then continued
apologetically, "Not that I did that just to be mean, no... but it tends to
get kinda dull and boring here. Sorry if I caused you trouble."
  The Avatar grit his teeth and did some quick meditation on Compassion,
Valor, Justice, Sacrifice, Honor and Humility. "No trouble at all, dear sir",
he ascertained, biting his tongue. "Would you take the ant eggs so we can let
this... being, return to whatever he was doing."
  Shamino rummaged around and found four huge eggs which he stuffed into his
backpack with an amount of difficulty.
  Dupre and Iolo carried the Avatar up the stairs, back to the first floor.

"A little nap should hit the spot", the Avatar whined once they'd closed the
basement door. He glanced out the window absent-mindedly. "Hey, 'tis night so
we ought to be sleeping anyway!"
  Dupre and Shamino looked at each other and nodded sadly.
  Iolo took a look out the window himself. "Poor Avatar, poor, poor Avatar,
hahahaha, it was just morning, it can't be..." and he kept staring out.
"... night yet..."
  "Then how come 'tis dark?" the Avatar asked his companions, eyeing the
window with an increased clarity of mind.
  Dupre and Shamino looked out and saw the same as the others did: It was not
daylight outside. The sky was covered with dark clouds, hovering menacingly
above the Dry Lands. The sun was peeking through from among the clouds, but
another black ball was in front of it. The object blocked the light very
effectively.
  "Ah, it's just a solar eclipse", Iolo blurted out. "They happen from time
to time you know, it's absolutely normal, there doesn't have to be
a scientifically advanced adventurer pretending to be a weather god or the
end of the world connected with it..."
  The Avatar didn't seem to be hampered by his recent injuries at all as he
stood up on his own. His eyes glimmered with clarity like never before. "This
is no common minor astronomical alignment", he whispered voicelessly. "This
must be the work of magic."
  "I see a dark spot moving up there, in front of the moon, or whatever black
ball that is... I think it's coming closer", Shamino breathed, squinting.
  "Is it a bird?" Dupre queried wistfully.
  "No, I think it's red. Haven't seen too many red birds lately."
  "Is it a magic carpet?" Iolo wished quizzically.
  "No, bigger than one of those new 32-seat multicharacter online magic
carpets. Haven't seen too many of those either lately."
  "Is it a dragon?" the Avatar asked rhetorically.
  Iolo and Dupre chuckled at this. "Nice one Avatar, like it, like it..."
  Shamino kept quiet, his grave expression providing all the reply necessary.
  "Shamino? It's not a dragon is it?" Iolo's grin was turning into a twisted
mask of unbridled terror. "IS IT!? SPEAK, MAN!"
  "To quote an ancient spell: Quas Corp", Shamino nodded, "Vas Quas Corp."

The Red Dragon was eyeing the small village on the shore of a desert land
with some interest. A tall dark-haired elf wearing light armor of black and
silver, riding the dragon, was also gazing downward.
  At the village below, the door of one large building crashed open and four
tiny humans burst out. Three of them hid behind the corner of the large
building while one, apparently braver than the others, stepped out into
a more open area. The Dark Elf grinned maliciously, whispering an order to
his dragon. "Dive."

--- scary isn't it! I bet you can't wait until the story continues ---